Meghan Markle Shuts Door, Public Stunned

British society is in turmoil today after a video was captured revealing Meghan Markle, newly-crowned Princess and wife to Harry (the ginger one), closing her own car door.

“You could hear a pin drop,” claimed David Longbottom, a 76 year-old self-described patriot and lover of all things Royal (unemployed). “I genuinely couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and nor could my Mavis. I wouldn’t have dreamed that one of the nobility could do something that us ordinary folk do, and she did it with such grace and poise too. Brought a tear to my eye, it really did.”


A Car Door

The media has gone into a veritable feeding-frenzy after Markle’s revelatory action, and it’s reported that the editor of the Daily Express fainted and had to go have a lie-down in a quiet room, staring at an A1-sized image of Princess Diana (pre car-crash).

Not everyone has greeted this news with awe, however.

“I can’t say that I approve,” said Agatha Snortingcoke-Braithwaite, Lady of Braithwaite Manor and owner of two-thirds of Somerset. “A Princess should be above such things, after all, isn’t that what we have staff for? I suppose I must make allowances for her being foreign-born, but it is apparent she needs to adapt to her new station forthwith or she’ll be peeling her own fruit or something ghastly like that.”

Check back with soon for an exclusive report on the truth of the rumours that Meghan Markle wipes her own backside without any assistance.

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