Theresa May To Sue Epic Games For Stealing Her Dance To Use In Fortnite

Epic Games, the creator and publisher of popular children’s game Fortnite, is no stranger to controversy. However, this appears to be their largest and strangest one yet.

As those of you who are under five may know, in the game you are able to do a number of dance moves in order to show off to your friends or annoy popular Twitch streamer Ninja after you kill him.

Some of the dances have been brought into question and some celebrities have even gone as far as to sue Epic Games over breach of copyright, claiming they stole the dances from them.

These people include 2 Milly, Alfonso Ribeiro, Russell Horning (aka The BackPack Kid) and now, of course, Theresa May.

QWd93DAROne of our editors recreated what the dance would look like by combining well-known Theresa May movements with characters from the game. However, when playing it back his eyes and ears started bleeding and he fell into a coma that we aren’t sure he’ll wake up from.

This effect is not seen in those under 9 years old so Epic Games has gone ahead with the launch claiming that “No one over that age has ever been seen playing so it should be safe.”

The trial is set to take place on the 16th of March 2019, our InfoBomb reporters will be there to bring you all the details

 

Update: MI6 has declared the dance to be a Weapon of Mass Destruction and all copies have been subsequently destroyed.

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Protesters Seek To Ban Chess Because “White Always Goes First.”

Chess in its most common form has been around since the 6th century AD and has been enjoyed by billions ever since. However, due to the ever-changing climate we find ourselves in, some believe it’s time has come.

A group known as the ‘Black Chess Alliance’ (BCA) wrote an open letter to the UK parliament campaigning for the immediate removal of the game from the county and to stop the immediate production of any white coloured chess pieces.

A debate occurred at a local pub on the 27th of the January to decide whether having a rule that white must go first could be considered a hate crime to minority groups.

The chairman of the BCA came in to debate her argument with the opposition. Our top InfoBomb reporter has collected some of the key points in the conversation.

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Opposition: “We hear the points you are making, however, we believe that banning a game because of a rule that doesn’t appear to have any race connotation is ludicrous.”

BCA: “This just shows how far back the systematic oppression of minorities goes, of course the white oppressors would portray that in their games.”

Opposition: “We’re not sure if you know this but the game was actually invented in India by someone who wasn’t white.”

BCA (Shouting): “That’s simply what this racist government wants us to think, it was actually created by the KKK during segregation in America!”

 

At this point the BCA chairman began taking out white chess pieces and threw them at the members of the opposition yelling “Take back your racial hatred!” and was quickly escorted out by security.

When we reached out to her for comment about a potential alternative to the game she said it should be,

“Chess but all black pieces”

When we brought up the fact that might get confusing to those playing she told us we were “cancelled” and blocked us on Twitter.

We will keep you updated with any further information and parliaments eventual conclusions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elon Musk Replaces All Tesla Horns With “dont care virgin” Recordings

Shock hit the world today as Elon Musk announced that from this point on all Tesla vehicles will have the sound from the regular beep to a recording of him yelling the phrase “dont care virgin”.

“Not enough people listen to horns and they all sound the same, it’s 2018 and I want something that conveys their exact thoughts that people have when pressing the horn.”

-Elon Musk

He also went on to say that the update would be mandatory without the option to opt out.

When a spokeswoman from Car Horns alliance said that people should be allowed to choose the sound they wanted Elon simply pressed his horn and let his car say the rest.

As well as this, in a press conference last week, he announced a brand new car he had in the works.

The “Model Catgirl” or Model C as he is calling it is his new car to finally finish the S3X C lineup of vehicles. With fashionable ears and a tail, this pink car will be a hit with anyone who loves catgirls as much as he does.

Elon has gone on to say that the skirt size is meant to be that small

New meme alert! ‘Planking’ takes the internet by storm

You may be familiar with 2018’s latest memes and trends such as ‘Homer In Undertale’, ‘Opal Chinaman Style’, and the ‘Do A Poo In Sainsbury’s Challenge’ but as of last Wednesday the internet has given digital birth to a new craze known as ‘Planking’.

Not to be confused with Wanking, Planking is an activity in which an individual lays flat in an unusual situation while a friend photographs it, saves it to their computer and uploads it to The Online for all to enjoy.

As of the 8th of October 2018, more than 150 images of planking have been uploaded to Twitter alone, causing an overload in the main servers.

One spokesperson at Twitter HQ told me the following:

“We’re getting overwhelmed with all the wanking (sic) images being uploaded and the server room is getting really hot. We need to get more windows built just to keep them open lest the servers get too warm for our service to continue.”

The sheer volume of Planking photos and videos being uploaded to the internet in general has already begun to cause problems for the public. Notably, my grandmother’s iPad stopped working yesterday – likely due to Apple’s servers becoming overloaded or my cousin dropping it in the bath one too many times.

While the trend seems like innocent fun for the brainwashed public, here at InfoBomb we recognise the real danger behind Planking – It’s entirely possible that an individual may get hurt while attempting to plank dangerously, perhaps on the tip of a rhino’s horn or upon a gun owned by someone to whom they owe a large sum of money.

If any member of your family has been planking, please put a stop to it before they hurt themselves, unless they are a paedophile or any other genre of monster.

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A lovely man with a broad planking on his dome.

Elon Musk Unveiled As Spokesperson For Tesco’s New ‘Not-A-BBQ’ Range

In a controversial new move by the supermarket giant, Tesco™ has revealed that Elon ‘Pedo Hunter’ Musk is to be the new spokesperson for one of their latest ranges.

‘Not-A-BBQ’ is a new product developed just in time to celebrate our famous British summer. ‘Not-A-BBQ’ is a build-it-yourself toolkit comprised of firewood and a spade, so consumers can dig a hole in their garden to store non-perishable food in such as tinned baked beans, or bangers and mash.

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Pictured: “Not-A-BBQ”

Tesco™ has released a statement saying:

“Name a more iconic duo. We’ll wait.”

When asked for comment upon this new career path, Elon Musk told us at InfoBomb:

“I am looking forward to working alongside Tesco with this innovative new range. I once used a Tesco Express back in 2010, when I was visiting London and had to buy a Tesco Prawn Mayonnaise Sandwich as I was hungry in-between meetings and my assistant at the time was being inept. He has since been fired, God rest his soul, but the sandwich was quite nice. Not phenomenally, not life-changing, but nice enough. I was hungry again soon after but luckily for me I got the sandwich within the £3 meal deal range, a concept that blew me away and in fact has inspired me to start selling sandwiches alongside Tesla’s as part of an automotive meal deal, but that is a press release for another day.”

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A Pictorial Re-enactment But With A Pulled Beef Sandwich

Trump Comes Out As Transgender And Is Now Officially The First Woman President

People on all sides of the political spectrum were shocked today as news arose that The 45th President made history by not only being the first trans president but, because of that, the first woman president too.

Many were shocked and some appalled at the news Some even claimed it to be a political move or hoax, with many people on the right claiming he’s only doing it to

“Troll the libtards.”

Many on the left have claimed that he is simply doing it to oppose Hillary Clinton, who has now dropped out of the 2020 presidential race due to the fact that the number one campaign slogan “I’m with her” has now been made redundant.

However, The President has come out to say that she has felt this way all her life and now feels comfortable coming out to the nation and the world.

InfoBomb managed to land an exclusive photoshoot from the President:

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Madame President rocking her new bod

Many activists from the LGBTQAUSD%£*`+ Community were confused as to whether they should protest or support Donald (Now Diana) Trump’s decision. Many are saying that “[she] isn’t a real woman” and “[It’s] obviously a mental condition and we shouldn’t take it seriously”.

However, others have commented on the fact they these are the same talking points the right have used for years and we have heard nothing from them since.

A prominent YouTuber by the name of XxTruthFact42X has claimed that he has known for many years now that Trump, as well as most other celebrities and politicians, have been trans this whole time. His video “Trump trans and is gay with Obama’s dog?!” has gained a whopping 16 views. It managed to reach 18 views after the news broke.

We do not know how he came across this information but we will keep you updated as this story progresses