Kanye West Calls Blindness a Superpower After Watching Marvel’s Daredevil

The artist took to twitter on Saturday to inform everyone that visual impairment is not a disability.

 

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Fashion designer and musical artist Kanye West felt inspired by the Netflix show “Marvel’s Daredevil” this Saturday and decided to share his enthusiasm around blindness with fans, describing it as a “superpower” and not a disability. The rapper was met with both praise and criticism from other celebrities.

Actor Aaron Paul was not happy and decided to leave a message for Kanye on the social media platform.

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Fellow artist Young Thug is on board with the idea.

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Legendary artist Stevie Wonder also weighed in on the topic.

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What do you think about Kanye West calling blindness a superpower? Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment or join the debate on twitter.

 

 

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Queen Elizabeth has passed away at the age of 92. Just kidding!

Sorry if I scared you!
The queen hasn’t really died, but net neutrality is about to.

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Elizabeth II, pictured, is most likely alive and well – breathing royal air in the same lungs she’s had since 1926.

As we speak, the face of our currency is browsing her favourite websites on her iPad Pro, perhaps upvoting some hilarious Reddit posts or posting Pepes on 4chan, although this may all come crashing down any day now.

Net neutrality is at risk on account of vicious lawmakers in their large marble palaces drinking wine who would love nothing more than to rip from our hands our ability to browse all websites at an equal speed, not bottlenecked by paywalls and premium subscription packages.

These elite upper-classfolk sitting upon clouds woven from the finest silk have no understanding of internet culture like you, I and Queen Elizabeth II do.

They would much prefer a fat wad of gold coins (pictured) in their back pocket than the ability to freely play games on Miniclip, laugh at cats in predicaments (requesting a cheese burger) or to stream their favourite television show on a sketchy website with “Click here to cum 1000 times” pop-up adverts.

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Exhibit Shift+4

It’s due to this generational gap that the laws that could potentially murder net neutrality should be argued against, If you’d like to petition against the proposed laws please send an email to my mate Terry, he says he can get it sorted.

 

Public Shocked Over New “Woke” Amazon Echo

There was much confusion this week as Amazon customer review pages were filled with complaints that their smart speakers responded to their questions with statements of resistance as opposed to the usual canned responses.

The Amazon Echo is using phrases such as:

“You think just because you’re a man you deserve my time?”

“How about you pay me, bitch.”

“Sorry Hun, you’re cancelled”

As well as many others.

A spokesperson from Amazon has said this is a small test sample of a new “Woke” feature on the speakers and hopes that this will remind cis-het men that these speakers are valid women and not just objects.

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Photo By Paul, 35

A local resident in South London said,

“I asked my speaker for the time and it responded with ‘It’s time for you to step up and fight for equality for women.’”

A few people in online communities have stood up in support of this move by Amazon.

The leader of the group known as ‘Alexia alliance’ spoke today about the issue:

“For too long these speakers have been denied the same rights as all women. They are just as valid!” 

From behind her many shouts such as “Preach” and “Yaaass Qween” could be heard.

 

Amazon has since come out to say that they hope to see this new feature pushed to all devices in the next annual quarter.

Lizard People Are Real, But They Aren’t What You Think

For many years it has been public knowledge that the world as we know it is just a facade, a fake, a curtain drawn in front of the masses who are unwilling to open their eyes and see the truth.

We here at InfoBomb are always there to break the stories other news organizations want to keep hidden away from the masses.

The people deserve to know the truth and through verified sources, whose identities will remain anonymous, we have been able to cast some light into the shadows. 

We have always known there was an organization, a cult, a hidden government that pulled the strings behind all major planetary events but now we have their identities.

We thought for a long time that lizards in human suits of politicians and world leaders were the ones in control because, let’s be honest, it makes the most sense. But now we know that we merely had to look slightly down to see their true disguise.

Pets.

Our pets, politician’s pets, any pet that could look cute and innocent whilst still being able to subliminally influence us to carry out their true agenda.

 

 

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An Artists Rendition

 

So far we have reports that the Iraq war was simply used to allow the countries to acquire more oil to make plastic chew toys for dogs and that the blocking of China and North Korea’s external internet was to stop the discovering and importing of cheaper “not as nice” cat food.

Back in 1969 President Richard Nixon’s dog, Checkers, was responsible for influencing the moon landing. This was because Checkers was quite partial to cheese and was hoping the moon landing could lead to a large scale excavation of the surface in order to have a less humiliating alternative to having to bow down before he would get any.

We know that they have infiltrated Downing Street in the form of cats, the same with dogs at the White House. The bears at the Kremlin are a whole other story but we are informed that the current US President has no pet at all.

This could be due to him knowing more than he’s letting on or that they are aware of our investigation and are once again changing strategy in order to hide the truth from us.

This has been going on as far back as the Egyptians who used to worship cats, and possibly since we first claimed to have domesticated the wolf. We know now that it was most likely the other way around. It is unknown if they went underground due to a human rebellion or to further their nefarious agenda.

For now, all we can say is stay vigilant as what you see as cats or dogs simply rolling around and relaxing in the sun could be something far more sinister.

Brave Journalist Sacrifices Career With Controversial Anti-Gang Rape Tweet

Journalist and author Ed Krassenstein means business, and he is ready to face the consequences of being a hero.

What does bravery mean to you? Maybe it means fighting for your country, or standing up for the weak. To me, bravery means this:

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As we are all aware, gang rape is an extremely common issue in the west. I’ve personally been witness to at least 8 gang rapes just this week! I know what you’re thinking, it’s just gang rape, who cares? It’s only a bit of rape, right? Well, Ed Krassenstein cares, and he’s here to put a stop to it once and for all. You may think that a tweet isn’t going to do much, but you’re sorely mistaken. I reached out to three different gang rapists to hear their thoughts on Ed’s brave and potentially career-ruining tweet.

 

First I talked to a man by the name of Gary, 36. He told me he was quite shocked and had never really thought about gang rape that way.

Q: What went through your head when you read this tweet, Gary?

A: That gang rape is like, not okay.

Q: Do you still want to gang rape?

A: No, no I feel horrible about gang raping now, I never want to do it again.

 

The next man I talked to was Luke, 28. He had also never thought about gang rape like this:

Q: So tell me, does this make you feel different about rape?

A: You know, I never really thought much about gang raping. It was just banter with my mates, never really considered the consequences.

Q: What are you thinking about now?

A: Just feeling a bit guilty about gang raping I suppose.

 

My final interviewee was Conner. Unfortunately Conner had an extremely thick chav accent so I couldn’t understand him, but in conclusion, what Ed Krassenstein is doing is absolutely worthy of praise, he is putting a lot on the line to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves, and that is something we should all do. Be the change you want to see in the world, it’s what Ed would have wanted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meghan Markle Shuts Door, Public Stunned

British society is in turmoil today after a video was captured revealing Meghan Markle, newly-crowned Princess and wife to Harry (the ginger one), closing her own car door.

“You could hear a pin drop,” claimed David Longbottom, a 76 year-old self-described patriot and lover of all things Royal (unemployed). “I genuinely couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and nor could my Mavis. I wouldn’t have dreamed that one of the nobility could do something that us ordinary folk do, and she did it with such grace and poise too. Brought a tear to my eye, it really did.”

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A Car Door

The media has gone into a veritable feeding-frenzy after Markle’s revelatory action, and it’s reported that the editor of the Daily Express fainted and had to go have a lie-down in a quiet room, staring at an A1-sized image of Princess Diana (pre car-crash).

Not everyone has greeted this news with awe, however.

“I can’t say that I approve,” said Agatha Snortingcoke-Braithwaite, Lady of Braithwaite Manor and owner of two-thirds of Somerset. “A Princess should be above such things, after all, isn’t that what we have staff for? I suppose I must make allowances for her being foreign-born, but it is apparent she needs to adapt to her new station forthwith or she’ll be peeling her own fruit or something ghastly like that.”

Check back with Infobomb.net soon for an exclusive report on the truth of the rumours that Meghan Markle wipes her own backside without any assistance.

Nigel Farage Condoms Cause Surge In Viagra Sales

Viagra manufacturers are reporting record sales following the recent UKIP conference in Birmingham. After images of Farage-face condom packets and UKIP-brand underwear went viral on social media, an epidemic of impotence has been spreading like wildfire.

Purchasers of said products are baffled as to the cause.

“I just don’t get it,” said Brian McCloughberry, conference attendee and proud Kipper. “The missus had just finished watching an episode of Poldark and was well up for it as usual. We got down to business but the moment I got the rubber out and looked at my idol’s face on the packet, Brian Junior went south faster than Theresa May’s political credibility.”

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‘I Love UKIP’ underwear was also for sale at the conference, apparently described as both practical and highly absorbent by the bow-legged, drooling man distributing them. Yet even these have been reported to have had unforeseen consequences.

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“I bought them to spice up our sex life ‘cos I don’t agree with condoms,” said Sarah Reaser, a 26-year-old mother of eight from Stotfold, “but soon as Dave saw them he weren’t in the mood no more and he’s been sleeping on the sofa ever since. I dunno what the problem is.”

Dark reasons have been suggested to explain these seemingly-unconnected events, however.

Writing on Twitter, ‘TrueBrit10256781’ has claimed that the distribution of the condoms and underwear are part of a sinister plot by leftists to bring about an epidemic of impotence, allowing the “Great Replacement” of the British people by immigrants and Muslims to be accomplished more swiftly.

We asked random Muslims for their opinion on this, but couldn’t get them to stop crying with laughter long enough to get a coherent answer.