Shock hit the world today as Elon Musk announced that from this point on all Tesla vehicles will have the sound from the regular beep to a recording of him yelling the phrase “dont care virgin”.
“Not enough people listen to horns and they all sound the same, it’s 2018 and I want something that conveys their exact thoughts that people have when pressing the horn.”
He also went on to say that the update would be mandatory without the option to opt out.
When a spokeswoman from Car Horns alliance said that people should be allowed to choose the sound they wanted Elon simply pressed his horn and let his car say the rest.
As well as this, in a press conference last week, he announced a brand new car he had in the works.
The “Model Catgirl” or Model C as he is calling it is his new car to finally finish the S3X C lineup of vehicles. With fashionable ears and a tail, this pink car will be a hit with anyone who loves catgirls as much as he does.
Elon has gone on to say that the skirt size is meant to be that small
In a controversial new move by the supermarket giant, Tesco™ has revealed that Elon ‘Pedo Hunter’ Musk is to be the new spokesperson for one of their latest ranges.
‘Not-A-BBQ’ is a new product developed just in time to celebrate our famous British summer. ‘Not-A-BBQ’ is a build-it-yourself toolkit comprised of firewood and a spade, so consumers can dig a hole in their garden to store non-perishable food in such as tinned baked beans, or bangers and mash.
Tesco™ has released a statement saying:
“Name a more iconic duo. We’ll wait.”
When asked for comment upon this new career path, Elon Musk told us at InfoBomb:
“I am looking forward to working alongside Tesco with this innovative new range. I once used a Tesco Express back in 2010, when I was visiting London and had to buy a Tesco Prawn Mayonnaise Sandwich as I was hungry in-between meetings and my assistant at the time was being inept. He has since been fired, God rest his soul, but the sandwich was quite nice. Not phenomenally, not life-changing, but nice enough. I was hungry again soon after but luckily for me I got the sandwich within the £3 meal deal range, a concept that blew me away and in fact has inspired me to start selling sandwiches alongside Tesla’s as part of an automotive meal deal, but that is a press release for another day.”
A Pictorial Re-enactment But With A Pulled Beef Sandwich